Reflection from Carol Acton
I wanted to give this message a title that didn’t give away what the theme is so I’ve called it ‘knowing me knowing you. When Mark includes a song title in his sermons we normally have Liam to help us out if we didn’t know who sang it so just in case you don’t know it’s ...Abba
I’m going to start with a few questions that hopefully will get you thinking:
Do you ever surprise yourself; ‘think well that’s not like me?’
Do you think negatively about someone or something even though you know you shouldn’t?
Have you been surprised by your actions or reactions?
Can you trust yourself 100% to act and speak how you would want to?
I suppose what I’m saying is, how well do you really know yourself?
We look in the mirror and see how we are physically changing but do we notice our mental, emotional and spiritual changes?
I know that in the past I have been a very emotional person, people say my face gives everything away. I know that God has helped me a lot and one day I hope to share with you how He has done that. It is easier for women to show their emotions and thankfully more acceptable for men to show their emotions nowadays. Emotions fluctuate and it’s not always possible to have someone to talk to when you most need it, I know when I am feeling down I just say God I am going to hold on to your hand and trust you will bring me out of it.
We hear more and more about people’s mental health and how being able to talk about issues helps. We need to have someone we can trust to listen to us.
How is your spiritual health? Are you aware of the lessons God is giving you? (Are you listening?) Does your understanding of what is written in the Bible sometimes change?
Has your relationship with God changed over the last 12 months, does it fluctuate? When we are given our new heart and new spirit we are just at the beginning of our journey of growth.
Well that was a lot of questions! They were to get us thinking about ourselves.
Yes we are all on a journey, mentally, physically and spiritually. Where we are at any given moment can depend a lot on the choices we make. Sometimes we can progress in our life journey, other times we seem to go round in circles or even backwards. Whilst in lockdown and unable to go out and meet other people it doesn’t mean we have to be or are completely stationary. Sorry to say we are still getting physically older and our mental health may be suffering but spiritually, we have the choice and more opportunity to grow closer to God; spend more time getting to know our Father in Heaven.
So even if you are pleased with your answers to the questions at the beginning, let us remember what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4 verse 4
“For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord”.
Only God knows us inside out, He knows the things about us that we haven’t discovered yet, those we are blinded to or those hidden talents yet to be revealed. Only He knows the extent of what we are capable of (both good and bad). After all He made us, we are His ‘grand design’. Whether we like His design or not, He constructed our DNA the way He wanted us to be.
More questions:
How many times have you felt misunderstood?
Have you said something that didn’t come out in the right way? - I know I have.
Felt you’ve been misrepresented? - YEP
Had people jump to conclusions about you? We probably don’t get to know about that one.
Have you said something in the heat of the moment and then wished you could take it back?
Have you ever taken to heart or over-reacted at what someone said jokingly because they touched a nerve?
It’s difficult when you’re not speaking face to face, when you can’t read peoples body language or facial expressions to understand how they are feeling when they are talking to you. Written messages are worse; have you had an email or text misinterpreted? They can be read in any tone with emphasis on any word, completely dependent on how the reader thinks it is supposed to be read or the mood they are in!
We have no way of controlling how our words and actions are received by others. How someone else is feeling on the day may affect their reaction too. Their reaction may have nothing at all to do with what you’ve said or done.
What about our blind side – we don’t know if we are blind to a personality trait or habit or characteristics. If there is something about us that rubs people up the wrong way. We all have our ‘little ways’ that can be endearing or annoying to others! We don’t see them in ourselves but we can see them in others. How many times have you thought ‘they don’t even realise what they’re like’? I know I have, David will often comment on his sister’s ways and I say to him ‘but you’re exactly the same!’ I must just say God has opened my eyes to how I have been in the past, it’s incredible what you don’t realise about yourself. God is very gentle with us though, He only shows you as much as we can bare and once you realise He helps you change.
We have no idea what’s round the corner, how our lives may change. I think we’ve learnt that lesson from the virus. We may be the sum of our life so far but what about our life still to come? And it doesn’t matter how old you are you can continue to grow and change in the way you think and the things you do. I don’t know where this story came from but there was a lady who had been in active service for the Lord but had become house bound. She felt her service life was over but God gave her a new role. She helped many come to know the Lord through the letters she wrote to prisoners.
And of course we are never too old or physically unfit to stop praying for others.
We have taken a look at ourselves and seen:
That we are on a journey of change and growth
Our thoughts, opinions and understandings change
We are not always in control of what we say and do
We can be misunderstood
We have a blind side
So what point am I making? The clue is in the title; knowing me, knowing you. What we can say about ourselves can be said about each other. What applies to me applies to you and the whole of the world. This being the case wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t ‘judge a book by its cover’? Didn’t assume what you see is all there is or ever will be? Let’s be more tolerant with each other, remember we are all God’s unique design and accept that we are all different. Be prepared to forgive and support others through their ups and downs, mistakes and lessons.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4 verse 5
‘Therefore do not go on passing judgement before the time but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man ‘s praise will come to him from God’.
I read recently how we should stop looking at how far someone has still to go on their spiritual journey and instead look at how far they have come. We only know about someone as much as they are willing to let us know. Or how much effort we have put in to getting to know them.
I met one of my son’s friends the other day, a teacher at a Catholic School. We were talking about the difficulties families are facing during the lockdown. He told us how he had continued at school for the children of key workers and those at risk. How the school had delivered food parcels as families were really struggling. He told of a family who has disruptive children, always scruffily dressed, they come to school having had no breakfast. He said it was only after a long time of getting to know the parents and earning their trust that he learnt about their background. He changed his thoughts from what sort of parents are these to wow they’re doing really well considering their circumstances. He changed from looking at how far they had to go to how far they had come. He said sometimes the best thing you can do for them is to just love them. I found him very inspiring.
We are told in Matthew 7 verse 1-2
“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”
Who are we to judge? If Jesus didn’t come down to judge by what right do we judge?
John 12 verse 47 says:
“If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world”
Romans 14 verse 4 says:
“Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his master he stands or falls. And he will stand for the Lord is able to make him stand!”
Let s rejoice and give thanks for the love God has for us, for His Mercy and His grace. Let us thank God for His patience! Thank God that He doesn’t have a 3 strikes and you’re out policy!
Thank God that He gave us the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).
In return let us keep His commandments. Matthew 22 verse 37 says:
Jesus replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” and verse 39 “Love your neighbour as yourself”
In the beginning we spent a lot of time thinking about ourselves but that was so we can appreciate others. It can be difficult to love thy neighbour as ourselves because God made us unique, set us in different circumstances and gave us different experience. We don’t all think and feel the same way.
But who is our neighbour? We read in Luke 10 verse 25 that Jesus was asked that question:
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”. “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” He answer: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind” and “Love your neighbour as yourself” You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?
In response to this Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan (verse 30 -35)
In verse 36 Jesus asks:
“Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
So we know that anyone with a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual need is our ‘neighbour’
But where are our neighbours? We read, see and hear about people suffering in far off lands; pictures of war torn countries, children dying from disease, starvation, drinking filthy infested water, they all pull on our heart strings. But our thoughts and feelings can quickly be replaced by the next article, TV programme or advert. We see so many charities appealing for money over and over that their impact can be lost. We can become overwhelmed or hardened, we can’t help everyone and can we trust that our money is used to help where it’s needed and not to pay large salaries to those running the charities?
The corona virus is a worldwide problem those already suffering are in less of a position to cope. What can we do for all these people, how can we be a good neighbour to them or is it just the people we live near that are our neighbours?
The answer I think is - we do what we can. We turn to God who is all knowing and ask for His help.
We are now hearing about deaths and long term suffering from the virus in our own country, our own towns and villages. We may see firsthand this sort of suffering but maybe not see the effects on people’s mental health and their financial hardships. We now have more ‘neighbours’ to help, what is our response going to be? We could be like the first and second person in the Samaritan story and pass by, keep ourselves to ourselves, not keep our eyes open to who might need some help.
As mentioned before we don’t know all about ourselves or the people we come into contact with, some people may appear from the outside to be coping but in reality they maybe really struggling. Let us pray that as a Church will we reach out to our community and become friends to our neighbours that God will use us to be His hands and feet. If we can keep trying to walk in Jesus’ footsteps and show compassion and a desire to help one another through life then God will see we are ready to welcome lost sheep into His fold.
During this time when we haven’t been able to meet at Church people have contacted each other and hopefully got to know each other better. I pray that we can build on this and grow a commitment to and for each other. Let us press on, remembering just as we have travelled far and still have a very long way to go so has everyone else.
We all have so much more to learn and give, we will only be at the end of our journey of spiritual growth when we stand in front of Jesus and He carries out the finishing touches so let us be patient with each other.
Lord, help us to reflect Your love, Your compassion, Your forgiveness, Your grace and Your mercy.
Maybe by sharing our journey so far we can become (and have ourselves) a better friend, coach, supporter and fellow traveller for the rest of it.
May God bless us all, in Jesus name we ask. Amen